


Guys and Dolls

by enchantment



Series: Forever After Series [12]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-05
Updated: 2013-09-05
Packaged: 2017-12-25 18:16:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/956200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enchantment/pseuds/enchantment
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor and Rose would do anything to help their friends. Even ones that are products of the Nestene Consciousness. All alone in a new world, Han and Leia decide that they need to expand their family and they need Tony's action figures to do it. It's time for the Doctor and Rose to find out if all that was can handle all that will be. **Twelfth of the Forever After series**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: A HUGE shout out to Kelkat9 and to her story, "Do Not Sonic The Action Figures". It is because of her generosity that I am able to use her idea regarding the plastic of Pete's World being a cousin to the Nestene Conscious.  
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything in relation to Dr. Who or Star Wars.

"Rose?" shouts the Doctor from upstairs. "Have you seen my sonic? I can't seem to find it anywhere!"

"No, I haven't, Doctor!" she yells back. "Did you check with Han and Leia?"

The Doctor leans over the upstairs railing and replies with narrowed eyes, "I haven't seen them either. They better not be trying to sonic the Millenium Falcon's engines into hyperdrive again."

"No, of course not," mutters Rose under her breath, "because then what would you do for later?"

The ringing of the phone interrupts any further conversation and Rose laughs as she automatically catches herself reaching for her TARDIS key to open up their police phone box. She enters the blue doors and picks up the phone chuckling, "Hello?"

"Rose! Is that you, sweetheart! It's me! I need you to get over here to the house right away!" shrieks Jackie.

"Mum? What's wrong? What's going on?" demands Rose.

"There's no time to explain, Rose! They're coming back, I can see them now! Just get over here as fast…" Jackie's call abruptly ends when the line goes dead but not before Rose hears her mother screaming from a shot being fired and a very distinct sound in the background.

The Doctor is still leaning over the railing contemplating the whereabouts of his sonic when Rose flies out of the phone box and shouts, "Doctor, hurry up and get down here, we need to leave **now**!"

He's running down the stairs and grabbing his coat off of the banister while asking worriedly, "Why? What's going on?"

"There's trouble over at Mum's and I think that your sonic is the cause of it." She grabs her keys off of the concierge and faces a stunned Doctor.

"Why would you think that?" asks the Doctor in bewilderment.

"Because you haven't seen Han and Leia and I heard Chewbacca's roar and a laser pistol being fired before the line went dead." Watching him continue to stand still in shock and unwilling to wait for him to process this latest bit of information, Rose brings him out of his stupor by tugging on his hand and instructing, "Come on, Doctor. Run!"

The effect is immediate as the Doctor snaps to and leads Rose outside the hotel to the street where there cars are parked. He begins to fish for his keys in his own transdimensional coat pockets when Rose releases an ear piercing whistle and jangles her own keys in front of him. "We're taking my car, Doctor."

"Your car?" asks the Doctor in astonishment. "When did you get a…" His voice trails off as he spies a red 2010 BMW parked further down the street. "That's your car? I thought Pete was going to buy you a _used_ car?"

Rose's cheeks take on the slightest tinge of pink in embarrassment. "He did buy me a used car and he dropped it off last night." When the Doctor balks at her statement, she insists, "This car is two years old. Dad said he considers that to fall under the category of used."

"A bit flash isn't it?" opines the Doctor.

"Why? Because it runs?" questions Rose with her trademark grin.

"Oi! My 1969 Citroen runs perfectly fine, thank you! It just needs some fine tuning and minor adjustments from time to time just like any fine piece of machinery!" asserts the Doctor.

He begins to notice the distance between where the car is parked and the hotel's front doors. "And why are you parked so far away anyway? There's plenty of room to park down by the hotel. Are you that afraid to have your vehicle compared to my baby?"

"Actually, yes," answers Rose as she rolls her eyes at the Doctor's shout of triumph at her admission. "You see it was Dad's idea. He was worried that the condition of your car would make it all the more tempting for someone to try and steal mine so he suggested I park it a bit further down the street."

"Hmmphh!" grumps the Doctor as they reach Rose's new car. "Fine!," he concedes as he holds out his hand, "Give me the keys."

His hand remains empty and he looks over to see Rose shaking her head back and forth while pointing towards the passenger side of the car. "You're driving?" he asks in disbelief. "I thought that I was the designated driver."

"Not in this car, mate." Rose opens their doors with a press of a button and they settle themselves inside the car. She turns to face him and gives him a pointed stare. "Is that a problem?" He congratulates himself on acknowledging that shaking his head in the negative is the safest course of action. "So, I'm still the driver then?"

He smiles weakly and prepares himself for their take-off as he grips the dashboard. "No arguments from me."

Rose slides on her sunglasses and revs the engine. "Good," she states as she puts the car into the fastest gear and speeds off towards the mansion.

Only a few minutes have passed when the Doctor hesitantly inquires, "Rose, my love, you do remember that I don't regenerate anymore don't you?"

Rose grins widely and assures, "Don't worry so much, Doctor. I can drive this car with my eyes closed."

"You mean that you're not already?" squeaks the Doctor.

Rose laughs and promises, "You're not going to regenerate, Doctor. I'm an excellent driver." She makes a quick change into the far lane before she inquires, "Why are you even thinking about that?"

"Oh, I don't know," replies the Doctor quietly while plastering himself against his seat. "I guess it's because regeneration is such a horrible burning pain that leads to death. You know, like a fiery car crash."

A sharp swerve into a left turn has the Doctor rapidly apologizing, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"We're here, Doctor," smirks Rose.

"What, already?" gasp the Doctor in astonishment and immediate thanks to any deity who may be listening.

His eyes close in sweet relief and he whispers, "She did it. We're alive. Thank Rassilon." He opens his eyes and turns his head to see Rose wearing a scowl of disgust very similar to the one that Jackie is frequently known to sport.

"I mean…," he swallows audibly; "We're here! We're finally here so that we can save your mum!" As she stares at him in complete silence, he waves a fist weakly in the air and quietly murmurs, "Hooray!"

Rose's mouth quirks upwards in amusement before she orders, "Let's go!" and exits the car.

The Doctor remains in the car for one more moment breathing a sigh of relief from his near death experience, both from Rose's driving and her temper. _Yep, I've still got it_ , he concludes smugly before following after his Rose.

They enter the mansion's foyer at top speed with Rose shouting at the top of her lungs, "Mum! Mum, where are you?"

Jackie's fear filled shriek of, "Rose! I'm in the kitchen! Hurry!" sends them off in her direction in an instant. Rose and the Doctor nearly crash into each other when the sight that faces them causes them to stop dead in their tracks.

Jackie is standing atop a kitchen chair clutching a tiny nurse doll that is currently waving her arms around and kicking her legs in fright. Oblivious to the doll's distress, Jackie uses it to take a swipe at the Millenium Falcon while the saucepan in her other hand fends off Luke Skywalker flying about in his Cloud Car.

A suddenly animated Doctor realizes, "Wait a minute! I know this movie! I love this scene! Go get 'em King Kong!"

Rose darts a quick peek at her mother who is too busy defending herself to pay the Doctor any heed. When he begins to cheer a little too loudly and asks Rose to make some popcorn, she clears her throat and spins him around to face her.

She advises under her breath, "Doctor, when you mention this little scenario to my mum, and with your gob I'm sure that you will, it might be wise to compare her to Fay Wray instead of King Kong." The Doctor is about to respond when Rose taps his cheek softly as she tips her head in her mum's direction. Seeing her point, he simply nods in agreement.

They begin to slowly make their way through the chaos in an effort to escort Jackie to safety when she decides to take matters into her own hands by finally landing a solid blow to Luke's Cloud Car with her saucepan. The hit sends Luke flying out of his vehicle to land against the wall with a thud while his right hand slides into the middle of the kitchen floor.

Luke's injury seems to put an end to the fighting and the Milennium Falcon lands hurriedly so that Leia, Han and Chewbacca can all run to his aid. The Doctor steps forward shouting, "Jackie Tyler! You've taken off his hand!"

The Doctor bends down and gingerly picks up Luke swearing, "Don't worry about a thing, Luke. I've had the same problem, myself. We'll fix you up in no time." He stands to his full height and glares at Jackie. "Honestly, Jackie! There had to be a better way! What kind of monster are you?"

"Oh, I don't know," spits Jackie. "Maybe, King Kong?"

The Doctor's eyes widen in fear. "Oh, you heard that?"

Jackie's aim with a saucepan is as accurate as her slap and she manages to hit the Doctor right between the eyes. "Ow!" he yelps as he rubs his head ruefully. "Yes, I guess you did."

"Come on, everybody," he calls out to the dolls as he leaves the kitchen. "Let's get Luke patched up."

The last thing he hears before enters the hallway is Jackie grousing to Rose. "I don't know why he's always comparing us to apes anyway. He's the one with the banana fetish."

**To be continued…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Rose would do anything to help their friends. Even ones that are products of the Nestene Consciousness. All alone in a new world, Han and Leia decide that they need to expand their family and they need Tony's action figures to do it. It's time for the Doctor and Rose to find out if all that was can handle all that will be. **Twelfth of the Forever After series**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own anything in relation to Dr. Who or Star Wars.

The Doctor is sitting on Tony's bedroom floor performing the finishing touches with his sonic on Luke's hand before he proclaims, "There you go, Luke. Good as new! Although I suggest that if you want it to stay that way then you avoid Jackie Tyler at all costs."

He watches as the nurse doll that Jackie was holding runs over to Luke carrying a thermometer and Luke reaches out his hands to take it from her. Instead of placing it in his mouth, he begins to brandish it as a light saber in an attempt to impress her.

The Doctor bears a wide grin as Luke runs through his vast array of Jedi moves and the nurse doll claps her hands in delight. He glimpses Yoda out of the corner of his eye and sees the small figure watching Luke and his new friend. Releasing a soft sigh, Yoda shuffles off to another part of the room while the Doctor does a quick search of Tony's toy chest.

A quick whir of the sonic screwdriver and a gentle tap on Yoda's shoulder leads to the ancient warrior's eyes widening in shock, albeit a very pleasant one. A tiny female troll doll that Tony had won at a school carnival gives Yoda a small wave of introduction.

The old Jedi lifts his gaze to find the Doctor twirling his sonic between his fingers as he leans back against the wall. He smiles smugly as he notes, "There's nothing like the love of a good woman to put a spring in an old man's step."

Yoda beams in sheer delight and gallantly offers his arm to the troll doll as they slowly move away to explore the room. Ever delighting in new life forms, the Doctor watches in fascination as Chewbacca dusts off the Millenium Falcon with a tissue and a Q-tip until his attention is called by a tug on the bottom of his jeans.

His gaze falls upon Han Solo who is gesturing for the Doctor to follow him to Tony's dry erase board. He bends down to inspect the crude drawing and instantly realizes that Han is trying to communicate to him his desire to propose to Leia.

"Oho!" exclaims the Doctor. "So the wind's blowing in that direction is it? Well, I can't say that I blame you. Watching Rose and I together must have emboldened you to aspire to attain only the grandest heights of romantic love. We are truly an epic love story, you know. Across time and space and not to mention parallel universes…"

His voice trails off as a swift glance downward reveals Han making a rather rude gesture in response to the Doctor's babbling declaration. He stands and straightens to his full height as he points at Han in admonishment and growls, "That fist had better be shaking a pair of dice, Solo!"

Pete's laughter alerts the Doctor to his presence as Han waves an empty hand at the Doctor and a cocky smile. "Need some help?" asks Pete with a cheeky grin.

The Doctor queries, "I take it that you're home so early because Jackie called in the cavalry?"

Pete nods his head in amusement and replies, "Yes, but I'm curious about one thing. Jackie called me first and yet you're here before me. Even with light traffic, I'm still a good fifteen minutes closer to the mansion."

"Rose was driving," states the Doctor flatly.

"Ah, I see," responds Pete as he nods his head sagely. He tries to appear calm as he inquires, "Is the car still in one piece?"

"Yes, it is, Pete. In fact, it's in perfect condition. But what else would one expect from a 2010 BMW? I happen to notice that it's quite a step up from the car that you sold me," declares the Doctor in an accusing tone.

Pete's salesmanship skills immediately come into play as he attempts to bamboozle the Doctor. "Yes, it is of a slightly better quality, but I know how much you dislike people playing favorites. Besides, you love that car."

"True," acknowledges the Doctor. "Although, I also would have loved a heater, air conditioning, a steering wheel…"

"And your point?" requests Pete innocently.

"Has been made!" insists the Doctor huffily as he throws his arms out to his sides to emphasize his point. He jabs his finger at his future father-in-law and demands, "You, Peter Tyler, you owe me some maintenance!"

"Maintenance?" voices Pete in bemusement. "You mean as in child support?"

"Yep," affirms the Doctor, popping the p.

"Forget it!" scoffs Pete. "I don't make enough money to support _that_ car!"

Before their argument can escalate, Darth Vader enters the room leading a small band of five Storm Troopers to seek out and corner Han Solo. Pete and the Doctor both rush over to the group, more out of curiosity than alarm, and the Doctor casually inquires, "Problem, Darth?"

Darth Vader's helmet slightly tilts to the side as he uses the force to create a message on Tony's dry erase board. Pete and the Doctor have to squint their eyes to make it out but read, 'You seek Leia as your wife but I am her father. You have not asked me for her hand'.

"Well that's very understandable," comments Pete kindly while shooting a hard gaze at the Doctor.

A bit taken aback by Pete's glare, the Doctor steps to the side and away from him and decides that it's safer to confront Darth Vader. "So, that's all you want then? Well that's easily rectified, isn't it?"

The next thing everyone knows is a small plastic hand is flying through the air to land at Darth Vader's feet. With a electronic inhalation of fury, he quickly waves his hand to scrawl a note in admonishment, 'That's not funny, Luke!'.

Chewbacca is bent over roaring out his laughter and Han and Luke are fast to join him. Releasing another electronic sigh, this one of defeat, Darth Vader waves away the Storm Troopers and takes a seat on one of Tony's tubs of Play-Doh.

Obi-Wan Kenobi approaches his old enemy and his old friend, causing the Doctor to momentarily flash back on the Master. He closes his eyes tight in remembered pain and for once he is grateful that there are no Time Lords in this universe to make him relive that hurt.

Obi-Wan Kenobi waves his hand while patting Darth Vader on the back in consolation. His message appears on the Etch-A-Sketch as the knobs twist this way and that of their own accord and clearly state, 'Come with me, Anakin. We'll see if we can find an online toy store that sells their mother'.

Darth Vader nods his head once and both he and Obi-Wan Kenobi head towards the door in search of a computer. They are nearly out the door before Darth spins around and staring daggers at Han through the cold metal of his helmet, lifts two fingers to his eyes and then aims them back at Han. No written communication is necessary, his meaning is all too clear. 'I'm watching you'.

Han simply remains standing on the carpet, completely gob smacked. The Doctor takes pity on his bewilderment and notes as he darts Pete a sidelong glance, "No worries, mate. The same thing happened to me once."

Pete offers a completely blameless expression as he defends himself. "What? I _suggested_ that the Torchwood agents bring you along nicely when they picked you up from Bad Wolf Bay, it's not my fault that they were a bit overzealous. You know how much they all love Rose down at the office."

The Doctor glares back at Pete with a trace of disgust shining in his eyes before he shakes it off and turns back to Luke. "Okay, Luke, hop up on the bed. Let's fix that hand. Again."

"Pete," requests the Doctor while he works on Luke's hand, "why don't you go tell Jackie and Rose about Han's proposal? We could use their help setting everything up and keeping it a secret from Leia."

"Alright," states Pete, "and then you and I can meet in my office downstairs for a long overdue talk of our own."

"That sounds good to me," remarks the Doctor absentmindedly as Pete leaves the room. He works steadily for one more moment before realization hits and he yelps, "Wait a minute! What talk?"

************Five and a half hours later************

The Doctor walks into the kitchen where he finds two extremely busy Tyler women. Rose is working on decorating a cake while Jackie is making some last minute adjustments on what appears to be doll clothes.

He stands behind Rose, placing his arms tightly around her waist and resting his head on her shoulder, he peers down at the cake. The words, 'Will You Marry Me?', are splayed across the rectangular cake in edible ballbearings with an extra sprinkling to create an effect of a star filled sky.

"That's lovely, Rose. They'll absolutely love it," he informs her as he pecks her cheek and heads over to Jackie to see what she's up to.

"Thank you, Doctor," returns Rose while she turns the cake in various directions as she works on it. Her tongue is poking out of mouth, not in mischief but in stern concentration, as she attempts to make everything come out just right for their two friends. She reaches for the jar of ballbearings and finds it missing as she hears a crunching noise.

She stares up at the Doctor in exasperation and Luke runs over to the Doctor and pokes him in the leg with his light saber. Seeing their threatening expressions, although Rose's being the more worrisome of the two, he quickly relents and hands over the jar while muttering, "They're stale anyway."

The Doctor watches Jackie make a few nips and tucks and inquires, "So how are you two managing to keep this a secret from Leia?"

Rose bears a huge smile as she covers the cake and reports, "Mum set her up for a relaxing sauna." When the Doctor head jerks back in surprise, Rose explains, "It's brilliant really, Mum took her up to her spa treatment room upstairs and sat down four steaming cups of hot water all around her. She's wrapped up in a small hand towel living the life of, well I guess the princess that she is."

"Molto bene!" exclaims the Doctor. "Excellent thinking, Jackie, I would have hardly expected it from you!"

"Thank you so much," grits out Jackie between clenched teeth. "I'm so glad that I could meet with your approval."

The Doctor smiles jovially and picks up a tiny evening gown lying on the kitchen table. His inspection reveals a beautiful sleeveless, floor length, cranberry colored dress with a tiny matching hair ribbon sewn onto it to cinch around Leia's waist.

"This is exquisite workmanship, Jackie!" crows the Doctor. "I never knew that you could be so impressive! And here I thought that the only thing those hands were good for was the Tyler slap."

"And the compliments keep coming," mutters Rose as she carries the cake out to the dining room.

Jackie accepts the Doctor's left-handed compliments with unexpected grace and fondly reminisces, "Well, we didn't always have money, you know. I used to take old handkerchiefs and bits of ribbon and lace to make clothes for Rose's dolls." She snips the final cut on Han's dinner jacket, complete with coat tails, and muses, "Not much has changed except that the handkerchiefs are now silk."

She turns to the Doctor with a soft smile and hands him Han's new jacket. "Could you do me a favor, love, and take this coat to the den? Han's waiting in there with Pete. Rose and I are going to go and get Leia ready."

The Doctor gulps audibly as a wave of dread washes over him. "Pete mentioned earlier that he had something that he wanted to discuss with me." He rubs the back of his neck nervously and croaks, "Would you happen to know what that's about?"

Jackie shakes her head and answers, "Not a clue, love. It's probably just some Torchwood business. Now, you go on and have your little chat so that we can start this engagement off right."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," agrees the Doctor with a smidge of reluctance. "We do want Han and Leia to start off their lives together on the right foot."

Jackie watches the Doctor amble off to the den and smirks to herself, _I wasn't talking about their engagement you daft git, I was talking about yours._

The Doctor enters Pete's home office, pleased to see Han relaxing on the window sill and gazing out at the night sky. His feeling of anxiety rapidly returns when Pete motions for him to sit down.

The Doctor takes a seat in one of the leather armchairs and watches as Pete sits across from him, staring down at his clasped hands. He raises his head to look at the Doctor with the face of a man who's about to confront his worst enemy.

"I suppose you're wondering what this is all about," begins Pete grimly. At the Doctor's barely perceptible nod, he explains, "Both Jackie and I have had a few concerns about your engagement to Rose and she wanted me to talk them over with you. She would be here herself but her specific concern happens to involve a very delicate matter and she thought it would be best if I handled it on my own."

 _Why that miserable old witch!_ fumes the Doctor silently. _She knew exactly what I'd be facing when she sent me in here! No wonder she was so nice to me!_

The Doctor was so busy plotting his revenge that he wasn't paying attention to what Pete was now saying so it was only natural when he cringes against the back of the seat as Pete states, "…and Jacks wanted me to talk with you about sex. She's concerned about Rose."

"What?" squeaks the Doctor in absolute horror at having this discussion with his future father-in-law, and well, just anyone actually. "What are you talking about? Has Rose had any complaints?"

"No, not Rose," declares Pete firmly. "It's Jackie."

"Jackie!" screeches the Doctor as he jumps to a standing position and points a finger of blame at Pete. "Well that's not my department, Sunshine, that particular problem belongs to you!"

Pete rolls his eyes at the Doctor's antics and states, "Jacks and I have no problems in that department, thank you very much. What I'm trying to tell you is that Jackie is concerned that you may have never had…well…relations with a human woman before."

Filled with revulsion at the very thought of Jackie Tyler imagining his previous sexual experience, forces the Doctor into a babble like he has never babbled before.

"Sex?" howls the Doctor. "Sex? I'll have you know that I have had plenty of sex! Maybe not in any of the bodies that Rose is familiar with but I have had loads and loads of sex! I have been around for countless centuries, Pete Tyler, and I will have you know that someone who has been around for that long would most certainly not be a novice! Across all of time and space, I happen to be considered an expert, a scholar, a master even…no wait, no, not that, no definitely not that…but a lover with an incredibly high degree of exemplary skill and dexterity! I'm practically bleedin' Cassanova! So in other words, I do not need your tedious human sex talk as I know everything that I have ever needed to know or will ever need to know about the act of sexual intercourse!"

The Doctor finishes his tirade with a bug-eyed glare aimed directly at Pete while he takes in deep heaving breaths full of oxygen to calm himself down. Pete's own eyes are also open wide but not due to the Doctor's impromptu rant. No, Pete's shocked stare is a mirror image of his son's own gaze as Tony is standing in the open doorway, his mouth agape.

"Mum says that dinner's ready. I thought you'd like to know," he murmurs in a hushed whisper before bolting from the room.

The Doctor's guilt laden gaze drags slowly over to Pete who is wearing an insidious smile as he approaches the Doctor. "That's alright, Doctor," soothes Pete in a chilling tone. He taps his hand lightly against the Doctor's cheek in a mock imitation of Jackie's slap and assures, "We have plenty of ice for your cheek. Now, why don't you take a seat and we'll finish our talk."

The Doctor slumps down into the chair in defeat and inwardly sighs, _Oh, bugger._

**To Be Continued…**


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Rose would do anything to help their friends. Even ones that are products of the Nestene Consciousness. All alone in a new world, Han and Leia decide that they need to expand their family and they need Tony's action figures to do it. It's time for the Doctor and Rose to find out if all that was can handle all that will be. **Twelfth of the Forever After series**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: The reason that I am not going to have Pete bring up Reinette during his talk with the Doctor, is that I would assume that since the issue was addressed in Valentine's Day? What's That?, that Rose would have informed Jackie of this resolution and that she in turn would have told Pete.

The Doctor sits silently as he watches Pete settle back into his favorite armchair seemingly gathering his thoughts before he begins their discussion. The rest of the house is as silent as Pete's office leaving the Doctor to wonder if they've been left alone so that there won't be any witnesses.

"So…marriage," announces Pete suddenly. "That's an awfully big step in a relationship, especially one as unique as yours. You've spent literally countless centuries travelling through time and space until you were left here with the lifespan of a mere human. No more running away when things get too tough or scary, you're bound to one place, in one time, to one woman. Are you sure that you're ready to make that type of commitment?"

The Doctor absorbs Pete's words and the meaning behind them. He's never really had a problem talking to Pete; he's basically a good man. He's kind, compassionate and smart and stands firm in his decisions, even when they're the hard ones, and gets the job done with the least amount of fuss possible. He's a good boss and a good friend but that's the problem. Because right now, Peter Alan Tyler is neither of things to the Doctor, he's Rose's father and he wants to make sure that the Doctor is willing, able and most of all, ready to take care of his little girl.

"That's an excellent question, Pete," commends the Doctor as he looks back directly into Pete's eyes. It was very important to not show fear, to maintain eye contact and never, ever blink. These particular displays of dominance had served him well over the years. As long as he could show Pete that he was strong, firm in his beliefs and forthright, he would most assuredly survive this discussion; and hopefully with his wedding tackle still intact.

He leans back in a show of nonchalance that he is far from feeling and states, "If you had asked me that in my last body, even the one that still wears this form, I honestly don't know how I would have answered you. Rose has filled and taken my hearts from the moment I met her and now she holds this one as well. Travelling together as best mates has never been a problem, loving her from afar as we flitted from one adventure to another was only slightly more difficult but fairly acceptable as I could barely even ascertain the notion of doing 'domestic', not even for Rose."

Pete's gaze hardens slightly as he listens to the Doctor's last words and the barely imperceptible clenching of his fingers around the ends of the armrests would most likely go unnoticed by anyone who wasn't as observant as the Doctor. "I see. And has this outlook on _'domestic'_ changed in any significant way?"

"Yes," replies the Doctor softly but firmly. "It's changed in _every_ way. I'm not a young man, Pete." He smiles his manic grin and he pulls out of the moment long enough to wear a very far away look in his eyes. "In fact, I haven't been a young man in a very, very long time. Now that I only have this one chance, this one life, I can't think of any other way that I'd rather spend it than by spending it every single day loving Rose."

Pete nods in consideration of his words before noting, "I know that you love her Doctor but you've loved her before and she still was hurt by your love. Specifically, she was hurt by you. Badly. I don't want to see that happen again. I know that you love her Doctor, but I need to know that you're going to prove that to her."

"Prove it?" asks the Doctor with narrowed eyes. "And how exactly would you suggest that I do that? Should I risk my life for her, die for her and then live for her because I've done all of that, Pete, and if that doesn't prove that I love her then I don't know what does!" The Doctor sits a little straighter, a little more assertive and insists in a near growl, "Rose loved me before and she loves me now! She accepted who I was then and she accepts who I am now, who I will become with her at my side! There is nothing and no one who will ever tear us apart again, Pete, so the way I see it, I don't have to prove a damn thing!"

Pete leans forward in his chair, hands lightly clasped together, his countenance one of amusement and determination. "Oh, but you see, Doctor, I think otherwise. I think you do."

 _What? What happened there?_ wonders the Doctor silently. _That level of manly, manliness almost always works. Well…almost always…practically always…mostly always…at least for Jackie._

"You see," Pete continues bluntly, "you've already proven that you love her and you've also proven that you can hurt her and that you can heal her." His gaze burns into the Doctor, but not with anger or threat, simply with a silent plea. "You need to prove that you can stay."

The Doctor's facial expression changes from one of ferocity into one of bewilderment, silently urging Pete to explain himself. "I've heard a lot of stories about you, Doctor. Most of them were from Rose but also a few from Jackie and Mickey. I've heard that you have a habit of leaving my daughter behind."

When the Doctor appears as though he's about to interrupt, Pete holds up his hand and declares, "I'm not just talking about the 51st century spaceship, Doctor, which both Mickey and Jacks told me about. I'm talking about the other times that you've left my daughter behind and why that hurt her."

Pete's gaze is steady as he informs him, "Rose is the one who told me about being left behind at the hospital on New Earth and in the Torchwood mansion with the werewolf. She said that you were a new man and she was afraid that she wasn't worth your time, at least not in your new eyes. Playing the maid at my dinner party and a dinner lady at that school didn't help either."

The Doctor fidgets under the intensity of Pete's stare as Pete watches him in earnest, attempting to make him see the situation as well as just listen. "Rose told me that she knew that you were trying to distance yourself from her but not for the reasons that you think. She thought that you were showing her where her place was, she thought that place was _beneath you._ " He leans closer and his tone becomes as hard and as cold as his gaze. _**"My daughter isn't beneath anyone."**_

"Do you really think that I don't know that?" questions the Doctor just as coldly. "I have **never** once thought that Rose was beneath me and that is **never** somewhere that I would **ever** place her." The Doctor's relaxed posture becomes tense and his hands clench into fists as his tone lowers dangerously. "And who do you think that you are, Pete Tyler, to lecture me about leaving her behind? You, who couldn't run away from her fast enough the first time that you met her and she tried to tell you who she really was?"

"And what, you think that I'm proud of that fact?" cries Pete as he bolts out of his chair and starts pacing the room. "You think that I don't remember the pain in her face from that moment every time that I look at her?" He suddenly spins around, anguish written across his features. "Why do you think that I'm so insistent on this point, Doctor? We've both caused her enough pain by running away from her!"

The weary expression that Pete bears and the slump of his shoulders betray what his admission has cost him. "She may not have been born to me, but she is my daughter. I love her, Doctor, she's my little girl and I don't want to see her hurt like that by either one of us ever again."

A momentary flash back to his granddaughter, Susan, and how it felt to give her up to a young man named David Campbell pops into the Doctor's mind and an instant understanding of what Pete's feeling now floods through him.

His expression and smile are kind and sincere when he addresses Pete. "I understand where you're coming from, Pete. In fact, I've been in your place before. Well…maybe not _exactly_ , but pretty close, as close as you could be. It was my granddaughter, you see…beautiful girl who grew into a lovely young woman and when the time came to let her go…"

He stops his ramble when he sees Pete's countenance turn from one of concern to one of amusement. Thankfully, Pete has become quickly accustomed to the Doctor's innate nature for babbling, in this body anyway, and knows that if he is just patient enough, that he will learn what he needs to know.

"Well," he explains as he tugs on his ear, "that's another story for another time. Let's just say that I had to let this most precious creature, this amazing and remarkable child who had possessed both of my hearts and simply refused to let go…"

He clears his throat at the memories and love that fill him simultaneously, "And in the end, I had to let her go. I had to let her go and begin a life that I could watch from afar, I could visit and occasionally take place in, but my place, the place that she had reserved for me in her life was now usurped by someone she chose for herself. It was someone who would be the one to watch over her and take care of her for the rest of their days."

The Doctor glances down at the floor before he returns his gaze to Pete. "I left her Pete. I locked her out of my TARDIS and sent her to a new life, a life where I wasn't as prominent as I once was. Oh, I was definitely still important, at least to her, but I didn't hold the same position that I once did. He did and I had to trust that he would take care of her."

He rubs the back of his neck as he watches Pete stand silently, listening without commenting, waiting for him to finish what he knows needs saying but mostly, what Rose's father really needs to hear. "So what I'm asking you, Pete Tyler, father of the love of my life, is to trust me. Trust me to love her, to take care of her and I swear by all the lives that came before this one and the all of the rest of the life that I have in this body, that I will stay by her side for the rest of our time together. Because I won't run away this time, and there's not a force on this Earth or in any universe that's not going to allow me to follow through on this promise."

Pete's smile is hesitant but only because he has to ask one more question, he needs to know one more thing before he can willfully and faithfully hand over his daughter to the man that she has chosen. "I believe you, Doctor, but I do have one more thing that I need to make clear between us. I've also heard that you have a habit of sending Rose away. Is that something that I need to worry about?"

"Absolutely not," declares the Doctor firmly and without hesitation. "I'm done with sending her away. I don't know if it's the one life or the Donna in me but I'm just not daft enough anymore to try that again."

"Good," states Pete with deep relief. "Because, if there's only one thing that I can teach you, Doctor, throughout my time with both Rose and Jackie, is that you are never stronger than when a Tyler woman is by your side."

Without any further thought or comment, a mutual agreement is reached and the Doctor and Pete each reach for the other's hand to shake in both an unspoken acceptance and bond of friendship.

Pete's smile is genuine as he states, "Well, I'm glad that's settled. Oh, and Doctor, just one very last thing. A prerequisite to Earth marriage customs, you might say. Don't hurt my daughter or…"

"Or what?" interrupts the Doctor with good natured laughter. "You'll make me disappear and file me away in Torchwood's Alien Archives?"

"Worse," claims Pete in all seriousness. "I'll throw you into a locked room with Jacks."

The Doctor pales at the implied threat and immediately responds in a high pitched tone while including a respectful salute, "Understood completely, Sir!"

A soft knock on the doorjamb draws their attention to Rose and Jackie standing in the doorway. "Is it okay to come in?" asks Rose.

"Of course, sweetheart," answers Pete. "We just finished our discussion."

"We know," confesses Jackie. "We were listening at the door."

The Doctor rolls his eyes in response to Jackie's admission and Rose takes the moment to glance back and forth between him and her father and inquire, "So, everything's settled then?"

Simple nods are given in acknowledgement and Rose's smile lights up the room. She looks over at Pete, almost guiltily, and says, "You know, years ago…my dad, I mean my other dad…um, well, I met him and saved his life and because I wasn't supposed to, it almost destroyed everything."

Her expression is sorrowful as she admits, "I didn't want to give him up, even after it cost the Doctor his life, but my dad knew it was the right thing to do. And in the end, I had to watch him as he went off to his death just to fix my mistake."

Rose swallows down the lump in her throat and blinks away the tears in her eyes. "It was the only way to fix everything, I knew that. It was the only way to bring back the Doctor and to set everything right. But no matter what happened, I knew that I was going to have to lose a man that I loved with all of my heart."

Rose's gaze remains steadily on Pete as she declares with all the love inside her, "I am _so_ glad that I'll never have to make that choice again."

Pete's eyes mist over as he throws his arms out and requests gruffly, "Come here."

Rose throws herself into Pete's arms and whispers, "I love you, Dad." When he squeezes her tighter, she adds, "I'm so glad that I met you."

They slowly pull apart and Pete cradles Rose's face as he murmurs, "My precious girl, I love you so much," before kissing her on the forehead and releasing her from his embrace.

Jackie eyes the pair lovingly, so thankful that a man who doesn't give second chances gave them this one. She turns to the Doctor and states softly, "Doctor, I'm sure that I don't have to tell you this, but you know that if you hurt Rose…"

The Doctor interjects, "I'm dead?"

She looks him straight in the eye and smiles, "Got it in one, mate." She turns to face both men and instructs them, "Now, you two hurry up and tart up Han, nice and proper. Rose and I will go take care of the finishing touches right now."

At the mention of his name, Han leaps down from the window sill to join the men as they watch the women leave the room. His look of amusement at the proceedings catches the Doctor's eye and he turns to stare down at Han with a smirk. "I don't know what you think is so funny. I've had my talk, now it's your turn."

Han's eyes widen in shock and if his expression was anything to go by, his thoughts were revealing, _Oh bugger._

**To be concluded…**


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Rose would do anything to help their friends. Even ones that are products of the Nestene Consciousness. All alone in a new world, Han and Leia decide that they need to expand their family and they need Tony's action figures to do it. It's time for the Doctor and Rose to find out if all that was can handle all that will be. **Twelfth of the Forever After series**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own anything in relation to Doctor Who, Star Wars, Godzilla, Frankenstein, King Kong, Universal or RKO.

The Doctor offers a stern expression as he crosses his arms over his chest and stares down at Han. "So…marriage…that's a pretty big step for an adventurer like yourself. Are you sure that you're ready to make that kind of commitment?"

Han merely returns the Doctor's steady gaze before he runs across the room and shimmies his way up Pete's desk. Once he's atop the desk, he scurries over to Pete's cell phone and types out a text message. Pete walks over and reads aloud, "Yes, I am ready and incidentally, I liked Pete's delivery better."

Pete laughs while the Doctor throws Han a withering glare and growls, "Yeah? Well, how would you like me to deliver a swift…"

"Gentlemen!" interrupts Pete as Han reaches for his laser pistol. "I believe that Jackie said we're to hurry up and spiff up Han for the big moment." He eyes the two men before him with a shrewd glance. "Unless, would either of you two care to explain the delay to Jacks?"

Two pairs of eyes simultaneously widen in apprehension before their owners quickly glance at each other and then turn to Pete to firmly shake their heads in the negative.

"I didn't think so," smirks Pete as he picks up the items that Jackie left on his desk. "Well, let's see what we have here." His eyes narrow with a slight smolder as he appraises the clothing. "Apparently, it's my favorite black silk handkerchief turned into a dinner jacket with coat tails and a matching tie for Han. Jackie has always hated it."

He holds it out for Han to slip on and chuckles, "I hope that you'll enjoy it as much as the advice that I'm about to give you."

Han's gaze is quizzical as he wonders what Pete is going to tell him. He's only known Pete for a short time, but he's found him to be caring and wise and as welcoming as he's sure his advice will be.

Pete smoothes down Han's coat and begins to work on making a bow tie while he muses, "It's funny, you and Leia have literally had a romance straight out of the movies. Since you know everything about each other, the only advice that I have to offer you is to love her, listen to her and compromise with her whenever you find that you can't reach an agreement." He finishes the bow tie with a bit of a flourish and smiles while he adds, "And hide all of the stuff you love that she doesn't."

The Doctor barks out a laugh at Pete's last remark before pinning Han down with a stare that reflects the true gravity of the situation. "No, really, mate, hide your stuff." Han nods his head in acknowledgement while the Doctor gears up to offer his own counsel.

He rubs the back of his neck as he grudgingly admits, "Obviously, Pete gave you some excellent words of wisdom and as you've just witnessed, I'm much better at dispensing advice than I am at taking it. However, I would like to offer you an invaluable tidbit from my own personal experience that I know that you will appreciate."

The Doctor leans over far enough to look Han directly in the eye to ask, "Do you remember the day that you 'came to life' in the hotel and had that little mishap with Leia?" Han nods curtly and the Doctor continues, "Good. Never forget it and never repeat it." He arches one eyebrow as he stresses, "When a woman declares her love for you, don't respond with 'I know' or any other inane attempt at flippancy! Simply tell her that you love her as fast as you can!"

One plastic smirk and a few taps on the cell phone later, the Doctor reads out Han's reply. "Quite right too."

"I see Rose has been having some girl time chats with Leia then," states the Doctor dryly while still managing to glower at Han. "I wondered why I kept finding them in front of Rose's laptop; I thought they were just shopping online. Oh well, that's my share of guidance for the day. Take it or leave it."

Han walks over to the edge of the desk gazing up at the Doctor with a twinkle in his eyes and a broad grin and as he holds out his hand to shake, he mouths 'Thank you'.

The Doctor glances over at Pete in amusement and inquires, "So Pete, when we first met way back when, did you ever imagine that your life would turn out like this?"

Pete smiles widely and declares, "Not in my wildest dreams. Of course, I'm assuming that you mean the alien invasions, parallel family members and more trouble than I can shake a stick at?" He smiles even wider. "Remind to thank you properly for that sometime."

The Doctor grins in return and chuckles, "You're very welcome but I was referring more to the fact of dressing up an alien sentient toy…" A few tapping noises has Han holding up the cell phone to display the words 'ACTION FIGURE', much to the Doctor's chagrin. "Sorry, _action figure_ , and preparing him for a proposal?"

"I don't know," considers Pete, "it seems kind of fitting to me. Two old jaded and self-made men such as ourselves, basically feeling alone for the majority of our lives no matter how many people surrounded us and then finding a second chance at life with women that we never expected to come into our lives but love them all the more for it?"

Pete's grin is practically as manic as the Doctor's as he looks at the other two and asks, "Now who else can you think of who would be more appropriate for this moment?"

The Doctor's laughter is unrestrained as he replies, "Well, you have me there. Come on then, you two, let's move out before Jackie comes in search of us." The unintentional threat alone is enough to prod all three men into action and head off to the dining room.

On the way to the dining room, the Doctor looks down at Han and asks, "Aren't you glad that you don't have to worry about in-laws?" Han tugs on the Doctor's pant leg and points over at the group of figures assembled by one of the doorways. Darth Vader, Obi-Wan Kenobi and even Luke are all watching Han with narrowed eyes and wielding their light sabers in silent warning of hurting their girl.

"Oh, yes," recalls the Doctor instantly. "I forgot all about them. Sorry about that, it's just that they're so new."

Jackie's shriek of, "Where is everybody? The tea's getting cold!" brings an end to any further discussion and they all hurry down the hall as quickly as possible. The Doctor and Han throw each other sympathetic looks and shrug their shoulders as if to say 'What can you do?'

They arrive in the dining room to find that Jackie has set up a doll sized table for the couple using a mug with a spare tile across the rim for a table and two large round spools of gift ribbon for chairs. She's just finishing laying a lavender silk handkerchief over the tile to fashion a tablecloth. She glances up as she smoothes it out and declares, "This is my favorite handkerchief for Pete. I'm hoping it will bring them some luck."

Everyone smiles at the jovial remark but Pete's inner thoughts are a little less cheerful. _It's also the one that I hate the most, but you know that. Couldn't make any dinner clothes out of that one, could you?_

When Jackie places two birthday candles on top of the makeshift table and starts to light them, the Doctor rushes over and snatches the lighter out of her hand. "Jackie!" he howls in anger. "What in Rassilon's name do you think that you're doing?

Overly familiar with the Doctor's constant mood swings, Jackie ignores his outburst and tries to reclaim the lighter while stating, "Look mate, I don't know who this Rassilon is but I need that lighter back so I can light the candles." When he refuses to relinquish it, she explains in a huff, "I'm trying to create a romantic mood, here."

"A romantic mood?" squawks the Doctor incredulously. "This isn't romance; it's a tragedy in the making!"

Unable to avoid overhearing the ruckus that the Doctor was making, Rose walks out of the kitchen to investigate the latest squabble between him and her mum.

"Oi, you two! What's all the shouting about?"

Before Jackie can proclaim her innocence, the Doctor jumps in and claims, "Jackie's trying to kill Han and Leia!"

"What?" exclaims Jackie at the same moment that Han pulls out his laser pistol and trains his sights on her. "What nonsense are you spouting now?"

"Nonsense?" repeats the Doctor in an offended tone while Pete tries to get Han to stand down. "What exactly do you think would happen to them Jackie, if I had let you light those candles, hmmm?" When he receives nothing but a glower in way of a reply, he stares at her as if she had dribbled on her shirt and expounds, "They would _**melt**_."

"Melt from what?" demands Jackie angrily. "Two little birthday candles?"

"They're tiny little _plastic_ dolls, Jackie!" A blast of laser fire shoots between the two bickering adults. The Doctor spares Han a quick glare before he amends, "I mean _plastic action figures_ and what might seem like nothing to you could be very dangerous for them! Honestly, what on Earth were you thinking? Your idea of romance is basically the equivalent of the angry villagers chasing down Frankenstein with torches!"

Both Pete and Rose's eyes widen dramatically as they take a step back as Jackie steps right into the Doctor's personal space and starts jabbing him in the chest with her finger. "Now you look here, you arrogant little alien so and so, I'm getting sick and tired of you comparing me to Universal Monsters! First it was King Kong and now it's Frankenstein!"

Beginning to sense the danger that he has unwittingly placed himself in, the Doctor utters a timid reply as he slowly pushes her finger away from him. "Actually, Jackie, Frankenstein was a Universal monster, King Kong was made by RKO."

"Seriously, Doctor?" voices Rose in total disbelief. "That's the best defense that you can come up with?"

"Also," he continues in a stronger voice, "I wasn't comparing you with Frankenstein. In this scenario you would be the angry villager with a torch and they," he points to Han and Leia, who has just entered the room, would in fact be the Monster that Dr. Frankenstein created in his lab."

The room falls silent at the Doctor's explanation and he is unsure if it is due to unwavering acceptance of his brilliant analogy or if they are quietly plotting ways to cause him irreparable harm. "Ow!" yelps the Doctor when Leia throws a toothpick at him spear-like fashion. _So, irreparable harm it is then._

Jackie strides over to Leia and congratulates her with, "Well done you!" as she high fives her with her finger. Leia happily returns the gesture and turns to the Doctor with a smug grin before taking Han's hand and leading him to their table.

Tony pops out of the kitchen to drop something off next to Han's chair and offers him two thumbs up before he disappears again. Seeing that the flurry of activity has finally settled down, Jackie instructs everyone into the kitchen for tea before she enters the kitchen with Pete right behind her.

Rose is about to follow as well when the Doctor tugs on her arm and leads her into a private alcove in the dining room. "Rose," he intones gravely, "Pete told me something very interesting during our talk, something I was never aware of."

At her quizzical glance, he states sadly, "He said that you had thought you were beneath me and I never even realized it. I never once in a million years thought that, Rose. You don't still think that, do you?"

A sad expression briefly crosses Rose's face at the memory of that time before it promptly vanishes to be replaced by a warm smile. "I did think that, Doctor, once, a long time ago, back when you first regenerated and for a little while after that but I don't think that anymore."

Her brow crinkles as she tries to figure out the exact wording for what she wants to express. "That you, when you were that you, was so desperate to push me away. But this you, the one who doesn't have to worry about the weight of the universe and me withering and dying, knows exactly where I want to be, where I need to be, and right where I belong."

"And where's that, Rose Tyler?" he asks, full well knowing the answer.

"Right alongside you," she replies without a trace of doubt. "Not beneath you and not on a pedestal, but right here, right by your side."

"That's exactly right, Rose Tyler!" declares the Doctor proudly with his manic grin. "Correctamundo!" He pulls a face of disgust and questions, "Why do I keep saying that?" He shakes his head free to clear it and pulls her closer as he whispers, "However you are absolutely correct and I can never apologize enough for not realizing that simple fact sooner, in any body."

"That's alright," she states as she nuzzles her nose against his, "I happen to be rather fond of this particular body."

"Oh yes?" he asks throatily. "And why is that? Is it the foxiness, the slimness?" He unexpectedly pulls her tight against him while he waggles his eyebrows. "The endurance?"

She throws back her head in laughter before leaning up into his kiss and murmuring, "Something like that." Their kiss is sweet, passionate and tender and over much too soon when they are interrupted by Jackie clearing her throat from the kitchen doorway.

"Do you two mind? Some of us are getting ready to eat. Now get a move on before everything turns crap." She pushes off from the doorway and leaves the lovers staring at her in disgruntled exasperation.

" _Before_ it turns crap?" quizzes the Doctor. "Does that mean that she's ordered out instead of cooking herself?" Rose bumps his shoulder in both chastisement and amusement before they hurry into the kitchen and seat themselves at the table.

"Well, this is nice," pronounces Jackie as she gazes lovingly at her family, "us all being gathered together for dinner."

"Yes," agrees the Doctor, "even if you are the one who's cooking the meal."

The Doctor remains completely unfazed by Jackie's glare as Rose steps hard on his foot and asserts, "I think what the Doctor meant to say, Mum, is that even if you had to go to all this trouble by cooking this lovely meal."

"Yeah, right," mutters Jackie and the Doctor in mutual sarcasm.

Jackie glowers at the Doctor while suggesting, "Anyway, I was thinking that it's been far too long the five of us sat down together ever since you moved out and how lovely it would be if we all went for a day out sometime, maybe to the countryside."

"Oh, that sounds brilliant, Mum! I can't remember the last time we went out to the country!" enthuses Rose. She turns to the Doctor and inquires, "What do you think, Doctor?"

"Molto bene!" he marvels. "What a first-rate idea, Jackie! After being cooped up in the Torchwood offices the past couple of weeks, an outing in the country is just what we need! And to show my good faith in your admirable plan, I'll even drive us all out there in the Citroen!"

A hush falls over the table as three uncomfortable and knowing Tyler glances are exchanged much to Tony's confusion and the Doctor's irritation. "Why does everyone always go so quiet when the Doctor offers us a ride in his car?" inquires Tony innocently. "I love riding in his car!" When the Doctor beams at him, he expounds, "It's like riding on a roller coaster!"

The Doctor's smile falls as quickly as the bark of laughter that resonates from Jackie. She wipes her eyes as she faces the Doctor and chuckles, "I'm sorry, love, but it's true. Tony's the only one of us that can stand riding in the Daftmobile."

Seeking to avoid a fight at the dinner table, Pete clears his throat to stifle his laughter and remarks, "So, Doctor, I've been meaning to ask you how you're coming along with the car since our driving lessons."

"Well, it was slow-going at first," admits the Doctor with a tug on his ear while he shoots one last glance of disregard towards Jackie as she wears a knowing smirk, "but I think that I've finally started to accustom myself to a manual transmission."

"I don't understand that," states Jackie in befuddlement. "I thought that you told us that you had a stick shift when you lived on Earth. What did you call it? Betty?"

"That's _**Bessie**_ ," replies the Doctor with a sniff of disdain. "And, yes, she was a manual as well. Unfortunately, when you regenerate you not only gain certain traits and preferences, but you also tend to lose some previous skills that you may have happened to have mastered in your previous life."

"Oh," muses Jackie in understanding. Then with a shrewder gaze she questions, "That's basically just doubletalk for saying that you're too old to remember, isn't it?" At the Doctor's affronted gasp, Jackie soothes, "No worries, love, it happens to the best of us."

"Mum!" chides Rose with a hint of cheekiness in her tone, "Don't be ridiculous, the Doctor's not old!" When the Doctor nods smugly in affirmation, Rose teases, "He's just too lazy to want to relearn how to drive a stick." She holds her hand up to stop any argument. "It's true and you know it! I've seen those plans that you've drawn up, trying to figure out how to build a TARDIS console into the car's interior and muttering about how 'levers and switches are so much easier than these useless gears'."

"But they are!" whines the Doctor in a petulant tone. "Why can't a planet that's brilliant enough to invent edible ball bearings create a car with a minimum inertia hyperdrive?"

"I don't know," answers Tony seriously, "but you forgot to answer Dad's question. How's your driving?"

"Thank you for reminding me, Tony," deadpans the Doctor. "You've been most helpful this evening."

"You're welcome," asserts Tony while nodding agreeably, happy to contribute to his share of the dinner conversation.

"My driving is actually going quite well, thank you. Quite well," assures the Doctor as he gestures at Pete. "However, if my word isn't good enough for you then I'm sure that Pete will be more than happy to vouch for me."

Pete's eyebrows rise as if to ask, 'Who me?', while the Doctor takes the opportunity to praise his own driving skills. "Seven bodies later and I've still got it. Go ahead, Pete, and regale the women with tales of my expertise."

"There's so many different ways that I can respond," stalls Pete. "I simply don't know where to start."

Oblivious to Pete's terse reply, the Doctor stares off into space and ponders, "Yes, I can see your problem. I excel at so many things…" Suddenly, he slaps his hands down on the table and exclaims, "I know! Tell them about how proficiently that I reverse the car and how quickly that I mastered working the brake and accelerator!" He turns to the women with a haughty gleam in his eyes and opines in a superior tone, "Frankly, I was brilliant."

"Oh, really?" questions Jackie in mild astonishment. "Because from what Pete told me, "You were more rolling downhill backwards than reversing, that is if your girlish screams were anything to go by. And as for your skill with the brake and accelerator," she interrupts herself with a gleeful cackle, "Pete said that he hasn't been jerked around that much since the last Vitex board meeting."

The Doctor silently engages Pete in a staring contest until the Tyler patriarch relents and offers, "I'm sorry, but she asked me how your lessons were going and I went with the truth. Oh, look!" he points at the doorway in an effort to derail the Doctor's oncoming rant. "Han and Leia are back!"

All eyes fix on the couple who appear to be newly engaged, judging by the strawberry ring pop that Leia is dragging behind her. The Doctor eyes Tony curiously and inquires, "Is that what you gave to Han earlier? A ring pop?"

Tony grimaces before explaining, "It's all that I could find! I tried to pull the ring off of Jenna's nurse doll this morning but that's when Luke soniced her to life and she wouldn't let me have it!"

"Wait a minute!" realizes Rose as she gazes at Tony accusingly. "You just said, 'soniced to life', meaning you were there watching it happen! You little monkey! You've know about Han and Leia having the Doctor's sonic screwdriver all of this time!"

Tony's eyes are as wide as saucers as he stares back at his family while they patiently await his explanation. The mind of a child is a complex thing. It is bright, full of colors, sounds, and wonder encased with the memory of familiar scents and soothing touch. The stimulation of these combinations frequently leads a child to follow a trail of curiosity and gives them the urge to explore. It is this very series of events that has found Tony Tyler in his current predicament. Pondering his actions, considering the results and their consequences, he reveals the true essence of a child in the formation of one thought. _Uh oh._

A blind panic settles over Tony as he worries over the various repercussions coming from so many family members all at once. Overwhelmed with fear, he blurts out, "The Doctor was talking about sex in Dad's office and how he's really, really good at it!"

"What?" simultaneously gasps the Doctor and Rose.

" _ **What?"**_ growls Jackie as she jumps out of her chair.

Pete leans over and pushes Jackie back down into her seat and clarifies, "It came up during our discussion, Jacks. _At your request,_ remember?" Then he points his finger at Tony and scolds, "And don't you go changing the subject, young man!"

"So you _want_ to talk about sex?" asks Tony in shock.

"No!" squeaks Pete in a panic rivaling Tony's former state.

"Good," breathes Tony in a sigh of relief. His eyes light up with excitement when he suggests, "Let's talk about our picnic! I think that we should all go in the Doctor's car!"

"I don't know, sweetheart," answers Jackie sternly, not once taking her gaze off of the Doctor. "I don't like riding in that car, the backseat's always sticky." She includes Rose in her sights when she notices them both flushing with embarrassment. In a more rumbling tone, she asks, "Anything that you can think of that would be causing that?"

Multiple replies fly out of the table residents' mouths. "Soda pop…ice cream…marshmellows!"

Four sets of eyes pin a nervously shifting Pete down while Rose questions, "Marshmellows, Dad? Really?"

"Yes," insists Pete with a snarl, "marshmellows is a perfect example of something sticky. Something that doesn't lay immediate blame on the two of you," he stares down Rose and the Doctor and they shrink back in their seats, "and something that doesn't cause me to have a conversation with my son that I'm not ready for." He rubs his temples when he begins to feel a slight throbbing behind his eyes. "Give me a corporate takeover, an alien invasion, a society party…but this? This talk I am not ready to have just yet."

"What talk, Dad?" asks Tony. "You mean about sex?" The entire table stills at his question with the exception of Han and Leia who have discreetly left the room at Tony's inquiry. "You don't have to tell me about sex."

"Oh, thank goodness," smiles Pete gratefully.

"You don't have to tell me because the Doctor told me all about it last week," relates Tony amiably.

" **What?"** cries everyone at the same time.

"What in heaven's name are you talking about, Tony Tyler? I have never once had that discussion with you!" defends the Doctor.

"Oh, yes you did!" retorts Tony firmly. "It was just last week when you were watching television and you started telling me all about sex. You told me about different species and customs and very…very…," Tony's face scrunches up as he tries to remember the word, "variations! I didn't understand all of it and what I did understand was pretty gross."

"Oh. Oh no," moans the Doctor. "I thought that I was talking to Rose. I was so engrossed in the program that when I caught a glimpse of blonde hair out of the corner of my eye that I thought that I was talking to Rose!" He hazards a peek at a furious Jackie Tyler and a not too happy Pete and drops his head into his hands. "Oh…no, no, no, no, no!"

"Well, just when I thought you couldn't top the night of our first family dinner together, you go and prove me wrong," comments Rose in exasperation.

"Shut up, Rose," begs the Doctor, "and help me out of this mess!"

"And how am I supposed to do that, then?" demands Rose. "Let's face it, mate. Your only way out of this is the Dimension Canon and I had that dismantled right after we came back!"

"You idiot!" hisses Jackie in her fiercest tone while staring daggers at the Doctor. She faces Tony and instructs, "Since you've finished eating, you can go right upstairs to your room and think about what you've done until I can come up with a proper punishment."

Tony shuffles off with a sullen face until he reaches the kitchen doorway. "Okay, but I'd just like to say one more thing. When you think about my punishment, I want you to consider this. What's worse? Is it me bringing together a family of action figures or the Doctor telling me about the 'rutting of the apes'?"

With a final pout, Tony states, "I leave it to you to decide." He walks out of the room bearing a smirk that his mother would be proud of while thinking, _That'll teach him to ruin Christmas._

When Tony has gone, the Doctor peeks out between his fingers and asks resignedly, "Are you going to slap me now?"

"No," denies Jackie calmly, although she still carries a bit of fire in her eyes.

"You're not?" verifies the Doctor, carefully edging back just in case she's luring him into a false sense of security. When she doesn't lunge for him or otherwise make any other move, he leans back and relaxes into his chair and turns a hopeful gaze on her. "Is it because we're going to be family in the legal sense as well as how we are now or is it because we've made such great strides in our relationship that we're far past the point of resolving our issues with physical violence?"

Jackie merely stares back at him wearily as she massages her hands and replies, "It's because my hands hurt from making those tiny little clothes."

"Oh," responds the Doctor flatly before brightening up considerably. "Well, as long as I'm still avoiding a Tyler slap!" When Rose elbows his side, he quiets down and admits, "Although, it would be a rather well deserved one. Sorry about the rutting of the apes thing and all."

Pete is about to graciously accept the Doctor's apology when the roar of Godzilla bellows from Tony's bedroom and practically deafens them all. "That kid!" grouses Jackie. "I don't know how many times that I've told him to keep that television set turned down!" Jackie watches as her husband pales and shuts his eyes as he starts rubbing his head again. "What's wrong with you?"

"Jacks," declares Pete slowly, "Tony doesn't have a television set in his room right now. He's been having problems with the reception lately so I dropped it off at the repair shop this morning." As the light of realization begins to dawn in the other's eyes, Pete asks tiredly, "Doctor, by any chance did you leave your sonic lying around, _again_?"

Feeling an empty pocket, the Doctor rises from the table and heads for the door vowing, "Jackie, Pete, I'll take care of this. It's an easy fix, I swear!" He heads off at a run towards the stairs and doesn't stop his mad dash until he reaches Tony's bedroom. Laughing aloud at the scene before him, the Doctor leans against the doorjamb and watches in amusement.

Tony has taken the liberty of not only sonicing Godzilla to life, but the Hoth from his Star Wars playset as well and both Han and Luke are racing them across the room. _Ah_ , he muses happily, _life on the slow path, it's never boring._

_**ROAR!** _

**THE END**


End file.
